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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

God is all powerful, all knowing - not so good with money....

So, Ray's big announcement is that he(and Jesus) NEED OUR MONEY.

That's right. Apparently lying about evolution, threatening people with eternal damnation and molesting bananas isn't as profitable as you might imagine.

This could be seen as a positive sign. The two possibilities here are that Ray has pissed millions away OR that the majority of people aren't quite gullible enough to buy what he's selling. I'm sincerely hoping it's the latter but my pessimistic nature leans me towards the former.

So please, everyone, head on over to Ray's site and pledge the $25, $50, $100 or MORE(!) a month so that Ray can continue lying to children, threatening non-believers, treating anyone who disagrees with him like an uneducated simpleton, and spreading the word of Jesus to millions of people who already know and simply don't care.

22 comments:

  1. I haven't felt this good since I single-handidly destroyed Michael Bolton's career.

    http://lancecjohnson.blogspot.com/2008/06/most-evil-man-in-world.html

    In all seriousness, you gotta figure that his love of Mammon is insatiable. I don't think that this shows one way or the other if his business is failing or not. I'm sure that even if it was a success and he bathed in gold coins, he'd still want more.

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  2. Well, I assumed he must be running out of cash because in the video they basically say if they don't get funding they have to cut out some of their media activities.

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  3. I am torn between your explanations. Preachers have always begged for money saying "otherwise, we won't be able to spread the message". This works because it makes people think, "what would I do without watching or listening to this ministry?" Although, he could just be broke. mystery.

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  4. Let's stop the guessing and just ask him to put "the books" online for us to review.

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  5. All my spare change went to UNICEF this month. I just can seem to spare any for the continued slander of science and indoctrination of the minds of kids.

    Lance, so YOU are the one that destroyed Michael Bolton's career???? THANK YOU !!!!!

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  6. I think you Americans need to issue an official apology in regards to Michael Bolton - just like the Canadian government did with Bryan Adams.

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  7. Dale only said that because he knows what I'll say:

    (chomps carrot and gives Dale a stern glare)

    Of course you realize dis means war.

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  8. Well,
    I'm up for pledging some bananas and a 6 pack of coke. I mean afterall they're going to need props to keep the movement alive.

    Perhaps a ticket to the island Dr. Morea for to have fashioned for him a crock-a-duck.

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  9. On the other hand this must mean they've spent up all of Kirk Cameron's "Growing Pains" money.

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  10. But seriously. Does anyone else recall a post from a couple of weeks back when Ray mentioned waking up in a cold sweat and shaking for minutes at a time?

    At the time, it struck me as an odd thing to say. But remember, Ray's hardly a subtle writer, so sometimes he says more than he realizes. Money worries have been known to keep people awake nights.

    Also, WOTM has been around for a few years now, so perhaps they've achieved market saturation -- everybody who agrees with them surely has a closetfull of their DVDs and such, and the rest of the known universe isn't interested.

    I'm just sayin'.

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  11. But if Ray's empire goes belly up - what will become of us? Will the band have to break up?

    Say we'll all still hang out, somebody! We can all still be friends, right?

    Right?

    whimper

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  12. Of course we can still hang.
    Hell, If Ray goes away, I'm sure some other Preacher out there will try to take his place...who knows, maybe we'll be the...


    PHELPSTRACTORS

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  13. or

    Obscene Osteen Terminators

    The Rick Warrants

    Billy Damns

    Lee Strobbeless

    Ted Hazzards

    Benny Hinders

    Jack Van Imp Mi-li-tants

    and so on...

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  14. Lance of course we'll still hang out....unless YOKO breaks up the band !!!

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  15. I vote for Kenneth Copeland.

    Just because I think the man is ugly and he gets uglier when he smiles and there really oughtta be some kind of punishment for that.

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  16. Even if his 'ministry' crashes and burns, his blog don't cost a thing. ^^

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  17. "Just because I think the man is ugly and he gets uglier when he smiles and there really oughtta be some kind of punishment for that."

    Can't Jesus heal ugly?

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  18. NO! Jesus can only heal leprosy, blindness, and intelligence.

    Everything else is trivial...even demon casting...

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  19. ...well, he'll make a special healing braid for Ray.

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  20. Any chance Ray will add advertizing to the site? Maybe Coca-cola ads? If so, could we in good conscience continue frequenting his site if we're generating money for his cause?

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  21. These "ministries" can send out letters that tell you if you contribute $50/ month, they'll send a prayer cloth (a cheap hankie)in the mail and you will become healthy and wealthy.

    If we tried that we would be convicted of fraud.

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