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Monday, July 21, 2008

Dan's Invisible Clothes

So my new friend, Dan, who claims he can debunk me and my rational friends, presents me with a link to all my questions. Now, this is almost like the whole, "through that door is the hottest, most beautiful woman you have ever seen". Excited, I turn the knob, push the creeking door open, and standing there before me, in leather and lace, is......Pastor Ted Haggard... if you follow his link, this is how it begins:

Pretend with me for a moment. Let's just say that I stump you all with powerful arguments, using archaeological and scientific evidence. I have even intellectually dwarfed you.

Now all I have to do is convince you that Noah actually built an ark and brought in the animals two by two, that Jonah was swallowed by a whale, that Samson killed a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass, that Daniel was really in the lions' den, that Moses really did divide the Red Sea, and that Adam and Eve ran around naked...and ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Do you really think I can prove all of that to you?

You want me to "pretend with you", and then you ask me, like it's my fucking hangup, "Do you really think I can prove all that to you?". Yeah, you are right, how ridiculous of me to ask you for some rational justification of a belief which you claim may determine an infinity of pain or pleasure after our physical death. Whatever, right? It's all just willy-nilly flim-flam believe it cause I say it, asshole!!! Pastor Ted, emperor, sir, you have no clothes on....is this too blunt?

I think this is a fun start to debunking the debunker of atheists.


  1. godforbid we want proof for extraordinary science defying claims! What the fuck, where is the debunking of the atheists???

    That whole Noah story is total bull anyway. Two of every animal on earth on a boat, fine, but a senior citizen building a gigantic boat all by himself...come on! How stupid do these apologists think we are?? I kid, I kid senior citizens can be highly capable people :-)

  2. Oh, it gets worse, I have a bunch of other comments to get through, I just have to put it together. I'm glad Dan stopped by here the other day. "Debunk" us? Good luck!

    Well, the Noah story is convincing to people who are told that once they are "born again" they are like children...meaning, they are supposed to NOT FUCKING THINK. That is ALL it means. Sad. Our work is the antidote to this.

  3. ooh I can't wait, it's like Christmas in July with some of these fundy comments.

    That bible verse about becoming like children in order to follow christ was one of the things that made me question my Christianity. Funny how you have to become like a child to believe in santa claus too. Jesus must have been pissing himself when he thought of telling his disciples that one.

  4. Clos,
    When I read, I try to picture it in my mind. Then you wrote "there before me, in leather and lace, is......Pastor Ted Haggard... "

    Guess I wont be doing that anymore!
    excuse me while I go put my head in the oven.

  5. I've said it before and I'll say it again: If the Samson story is real, then so is the story of Achilles.

  6. I posted a comment on his ridiculous "Evolution is a Fraud!" post, satirizing his article. In case he deletes it, check it out:

    Seven Reasons why Christianity is Wrong

    1. Mayonnaise. According to Genesis 98:20, the only thing that God ever created was mayonnaise, and mayonnaise is the only thing that has ever existed. Obviously, this is absurd.

    2. Christianity is anti-sports. 2/3 of Americans love sports, and yet the Church condemns it.

    3. African scorpions are more venomous than North American scorpions, unlike what was predicted by the Koran.

    5. No one likes whales anymore.

    6. Christianity is a science. That's right, a science. Christians rely on evidence, not faith. It's not a true religion.

    And there you have it. Seven reasons why Christianity is wrong. Much respect to Poe's Law.


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