I can't believe it's not Torture

Well, everyone was taking Ray's post about Hell not being Torture seriously, so I decided not to, simply to be contrary.


This seems appropriate.

I Can't Believe It's Not Torture

Though particularly diverse in its methodology, I Can't Believe It's Not Torture is defined by the following factors:

• Not being torture.
• Inflicting intense pain, trauma, discomfort or disorientation, both physical and psychological, while not being torture.
• Physical and psychological pressure and coercion in order to extract confessions and/or information, while not being torture.
• Standard torture carried out by other countries in other countries, and therefore not being torture.
• Being generally used on Arabs, Muslims and similar Sand Niggers who nobody cares about anyway and so not being torture.
• Being entirely sanctioned by pretty much applicable statute there is, INCLUDING the Geneva Convention, the International Declaration of Human Rights, the US Constitution and everything Amnesty International have ever written, while not being torture.
• Happening in so-called 'legal black holes' where US law does not apply and which are so immensely legal that they collapse in on themselves, while not being torture.
• Being used before trial, as these people who live in Afghanistan are clearly guilty anyway or why else would they be in Afghanistan during a war-zone? So a trial is a waste of time, resources and justice-juice. Er... while not being torture.
• Occasionally involving torture by the lowest-ranking soldiers who guard Iraqi prisoners but have absolutely no guidance from above and besides, it's not torture.
• Not happening. Ever. And not being torture.

[continued...]