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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ray Is Ruining Hell for the Rest of Us

We all know we're going to Hell for all the babies we have eaten as atheists. Although we're going to Hell, which is a downside, there's definitely an upside: we'll have all kinds of great company like Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, Albert Einstein, etc. and be devoid of the presence of fundamentalist evangelicals like Ray Comfort, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robertson,

According to Ray's latest post, "no hypocrite will enter the Kingdom of God."

Well, I have bad news for everyone, then. It seems Ray Comfort will be joining us after all, then, along with all the other televangelists.

Oh, and also all the Christian politicians, pedophile priests, and homophobic Phelps-type people (who have no problem condemning homosexuals while wearing clothes made of two kinds of fabric).

Hell is losing its appeal now. Perhaps we should consider converting?

16 comments:

  1. Hell is losing its appeal now. Perhaps we should consider converting?

    Yes, but converting to what? Sorry, but Christianity is right out, for so many reasons...

    Buddhism, on the other hand, has several points in its favor... ^_^

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  2. I'm with Carlin. Worship the Sun. You know it's there; it actually gives you things you need; prayers to it are answered at about the same 50/50 rate.

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  3. @tripmaster monkey:
    Consider this: God, if he exists, is far outside our comprehension; we can't even begin to fathom him. So, doesn't it make sense that the religion that is the most ludicrous, most ridiculous, most illogical, most contradictory, and most implausible is, in fact, the correct one?

    If so, Christianity must be true, as it requires the suspension of all logic, sense, and understanding to "understand."

    I think I'll formalize this proof of Christianity as the Argument from Absurdity.

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  4. I was talking about the afterlife with my girlfriend awhile back. It was shortly after Edward Current's video An Atheist Meets God.

    I was trying to put myself in the same situation. So I die and go to Heaven. First off I am shocked and bit dumbfounded. God sits there and says, "Well it looks like you wrong and I do exist."

    I start with the common rebuttal, "I just used the brain you apparently gave me, looked at the evidence, and found none for you."

    "Well, that was all test and the world really is only 6000 years old. You fell for my fake fossils and star light. You are going to hell now!"

    "But..." I find myself in hell before I can finish. The Devil is standing over the side. He notices me and walks over.

    The Devil remarks, "See I told you he was a dick. Wanna beer?"

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  5. Ray & Co in hell?

    GAAAHHH.

    Zombification is looking better every day.

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  6. On the "For Christians Only" post at AC, Kristina said:

    "A friend of mine had a dream last year that an angel told her something would happen in 2009 that would "Cause the hearts of men to fail." I don't know if her dream was from God, or just a combination of things she already knew from prophecy. But, it very well could be that some disaster will happen within the next year. Or the next week. No one knows. So we must keep watching and praying and doing God's will, so Jesus will find us faithful servants when He returns."

    Bless.

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  7. weemaryanne wrote:
    "Zombification is looking better every day."

    They're coming!

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  8. I saw his hypocrite comment and thought the same exact thing. The burning lake was bad enough, do we really have to put up with Ray too?

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  9. Everyone remember my I choose life post?

    Well, Ray just confirmed my opinion that one who believes in fundimental evangelical christianity is incapable of true love.

    I sent a comment thanking him for the confirmation.

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  10. Zombification is looking better every day.

    I compare my deeds and words to those of Mr. Comfort, and conclude I'm gonna reside several concentric circles above him.

    Meaning I'd get to spend eternity peeing down on our favorite fundie. Hell's still sounding like prime real estate...

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  11. I admit that looking down on Comfort is appealing, but wanna eat his braaaaiiiiinnn...

    If I can find it...

    If zombification was good enough for Jesus, its good enough for me.

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  12. "But, it very well could be that some disaster will happen within the next year. Or the next week. No one knows."

    Wow. That's some amazing power of prophecy right thar. Insightful,precise, specific...thanks, Kristina, I will now plan accordingly to your detailed description of the future.

    If I could ask one self-serving favor...are you getting any physic premonitions that tommorrows lottery will be some random combination of numbers. Please let me know, it'd real helpful.

    **hopes Kristina lurks cause I can't stand AC anymore**

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  13. brilliant prophecy.
    Great disasters happened this year, last year, and every year before it. The Hearts of Men are failing right now (bank crisis), just as they did somewhere every year.
    The problem I have with this is that some 'prophets' are making money this way (if they're wrong, skip to the next prophecy, claim the date was inaccurate, and the buck keeps rolling in). Also the mere presence and belief in such a macro-vague prophecy can and does dishearten people. They do a lot of things they wouldn't normally do, like spend all their money on survival gear, cancel their jobs, go live in a cave. They ruin their lives. They lose sleep and health, many quivering in fear until the day they die, consequentially much too early.

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