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Friday, August 15, 2008

Read the #**§? Manual

Another on of Ray's great analagies.

The bible as an instruction book. he suggests it is foolish to own an instruction book and not follow the instructions.
Logic tells me that this instruction book is the right book for that appliance. Any other conclusion would be lunacy.

Here's what happens when you use the bible as an instruction book:
What Happens When an Agnostic Follows the Bible Literally for One Year?

The second type of difficult rules were those that will get you into trouble if you follow them in modern-day America. For instance, the Old Testament rule that you should stone adulterers. Luckily, I was able to stone one adulterer. I was in the park dressed in my biblical garb (white clothes, a beard, sandals, walking stick) and a man came up to me and asked why I was dressed so strangely. He seemed hostile right from the start. I explained to him my project. And he said "I'm an adulterer. Are you going to stone me?" I said, "That would be great."
I took out a handful of pebbles - because the Bible never specifies the size of the stones. This man actually grabbed the stones from my hand and chucked them at my face. I felt I had the right to retaliate, so I tossed a pebble at him. And in that way I stoned.


  1. I'm not much into adultery, but I used to get stoned quite frequently.

  2. This agnostic bible guy sound hilarious. Nice find!

  3. Going along with Ray's instruction manual analogy, what if you buy a used car, but it doesn't come with a manual. When you show up at the parts store you find that there are over 50 different translations of a manual that claim to be for your car, each with their own subtle differences.

    After browsing the many translations available, you find that they're full of inconsistencies and contradictions. One section says to inflate the tires to 30 PSI, and another says your tires need 45 PSI. Asking the people behind the parts counter are no help, because they belong to many different denominations of auto repair which each have conflicting and incompatible claims about your vehicle.

  4. I felt I had the right to retaliate, so I tossed a pebble at him. And in that way I stoned.


    [Cue music] Eeeeeverybody must get stoned.

  5. The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. That was an interesting book. He also wrote a book about reading the entire Encyclopedia Britanica in one year, The Know it All; One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World.

  6. From BrianB (responding to an atheist in this thread)

    "The Bible and Christianity have formed the whole western world and morals. Even as an atheist you are forming your thoughts under a Christian worldview that has shaped everything you think."

    Why is this bullshit idea so fucking prevalent. Why are fundies knowledge of history just as piss-poor as their understanding of science. Fuck, if hear this 'western world & morals = christian worldview' shit once more...I'm gonna...I'm gonna...well, I guess I'm just gonna complain about some more.

  7. Someone should slip a "Cock Sucking 101" book into Ray's night stand, then call him on his word.


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