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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Words Fail Me

I was at EvolutionBlog, reading about the 6th International Conference on Creationism and came across this:

I will have more to say about the minutiae of the conference in subsequent posts, but for now let me close with one dramatic break from the generally scholarly tone of the speakers. A fellow named John Pantana got up to tell us about God's pharmacy. To anticipate in advance your natural question: Yes, he's serious. I know that because someone asked him precisely that after his talk, and he bluntly answered in the affirmative. Read it and weep:

Here's God's amazing pharmacy. We can see the creativeness of God in the colors of food and the shapes of food that we put into our bodies. ...

Did you know that the sliced carrot looks like a human eye. The pupil, the iris, the radiating lines look like a human eye. Science shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to the function of the eyes.

A tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All the research shows that tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure food for the heart and the blood.

Grapes and the heart. Grapes hang in a cluster that look like the shape of a heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell. All the scientific research shows that both red and green grapes are profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles and folds are just like the neo-cortex. They have shown that walnuts help develop more than three dozen neuron transmitters to the brain. So everybody eat some walnuts.

Kidney beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function. Yes, they look exactly like the human kidney.

Celery, bok choy, rhubarb and many others look like the bones. These food specifically target bone strength. Bones are twenty-three percent sodium and these foods are twenty-three percent sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocados, eggplants and pears target the health and function of the womb and the cervix of the female. They look just like these organs and the latest research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week it balances hormones ... and prevents cervical cancers. It takes exactly nine months to grow an avocado from the blossom to the ripened fruit.

Figs and male sperm count. Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos. Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet potatoes and the pancreas. Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives and ovaries. Black and green olives assist the health and function of ovaries.

One last. Oranges, pomegranites, grapefruits and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like body cells. Today's research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

You know, I just transcribed that laboriously from my little voice recorder. It seems I needn't have bothered, because it looks like he got it verbatim from this site. Charming. Incidentally, I suspect Pontana got this from the web, as opposed to the website getting it from him, since he was reading mechanically from his slides, and stumbled over big words like lycopine, bok choy, and cerebrum.

He closed with:

Worship him who made heaven and Earth, the sea and all the springs of water. Worship the God of creation. How big is God? He's big enough to rule the universe yet small enough to live within the heart. He's got the whole world in his hands. Jesus is lord.
Don't hear that too often at scientific conferences.


Wow. I mean, wow.

12 comments:

  1. You ever wonder if there is one semi-rational creation-doubting guy at this conference that eventually converts to Evolution because he realizes that this kind of argument is plainly ridiculous?

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  2. Then why don't cucumbers cure AIDS, Mr. Smarty Pants creationist?

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  3. I think there are many religious leaders, who started out in their idealistic youth reaching for spiritual satisfaction that eventually realize, like Mother Theresa, that religion is, in fact, the opium of the masses, a crutch; a chance at beating death.

    By the time they realize this, their whole life is wasted- the emotional investment is so high, and their entire support system and income is predicated on the system.

    It takes a heroic act to "come out" at that point and it is rare when one does it, especially those whose incomes are derived from it.

    By now they have culturally conditioned a bunch of kids and maybe grandkids and the embarassment of revealing their mistake makes it impossible to change.

    I know they are out there, but there is no way to know how many.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've read that before, so it certainly isn't original.

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  5. By the way, the Lady Slipper Orchid flower looks like a vagina, but it's non-edible; so there!

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  6. Dale..."By the time they realize this, their whole life is wasted- the emotional investment is so high, and their entire support system and income is predicated on the system."

    Dale,

    Do you think this applies to Ray or do you think he really believes the BS he peddles? I'm curious your opinion. I can't quite figure him out.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nafa,

    To be consistant with my views on this, if Ray states that he "believes" in the resuurection, etc, then I must allow that he does.
    However, I will continue to have serious doubts about his, and other TVangelists motives.
    I think it is highly possible that some of the leaders question their own beliefs, but justify perpetuating them because there are plenty of credulous people that seek them out, and, it can be a fairly lucrative business.

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  8. non-edible?

    Oh shit. gotta run.

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  9. Here's a video that PZ posted awhile back on the same subject: here

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  10. Bones are twenty-three percent sodium and these foods are twenty-three percent sodium.
    HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Man, these people really do know nothing about biology if they think those numbers make any sense at all.

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  11. What? Cucumbers don't cure AIDS?! Shit!

    ReplyDelete
  12. JicamaEater,

    With a bit of chilli and lime? (The Jicama.) Yummy!

    G.E.

    ReplyDelete

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