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Sunday, August 31, 2008

There's a brand spanking new Chick tract, kids. Did you know that Jesus can hurl people across the room from heaven if you ask him to? Also, he can heal vampires.

My favourite part is how Jack Chick is using a Jack Chick comic to promote handing out Jack Chick comics to kids on Halloween. I don't know about you guys, but where I'm from an apple for Halloween can get your house egged - I can't imagine what would be done if someone gave out retarded comics about Jee-bus.


  1. I saw this at Pharyngula. It seemed kinda long. Does your average Jack Chick tract reader have that kind of attention span?

  2. Jack Chick is worse than Ray. Vampires!? Really?

    My wife normally helps organize the Relay for Life in our area every year. So each year the kids and I pack up and go help set things up, walk some laps with her, and goof off for awhile. This year there was a guy on the track with a table full of Chick Tracts.

    I stopped in front of the table. The tracts looked just like I remember them from when I was a kid. The guy walks up and stands behind the table expectantly and I say, "Wow. I didn't know they still made these things." (It was a lie, I was making small talk.) He says, "Yeah, It's your life scared me into believing in Jesus when I was younger." I wanted to ask why the hell he wanted to pass it on to someone else, but I didn't. I'm too nice of a guy. I should have taken a tract though, dammit.

    Daddy Stegosaurus

  3. Jack Chick is one of the most kickass comic artists- His work makes me laugh AND it's cryptic.

    We have to admit, it sure is entertaining reading his tracts- This one was no exception.

    Because vampires exist.

  4. P.S.

    I forgot to mention... According to Chick vampires exist.

  5. I'm not entirely sure Jack Chick believes in vampires. I think he's using vampires as an allegorical device,

    I could be wrong though. Doesn't he believe in witchcraft.

  6. Hmm- I think you're right.

    Actually, I do believe that Jack Chick thinks that all these supernatural beings (The evil ones, at least) and works of witchcraft are the work of demons and Satan (which may explain his constant theme of Satan as being the MASTER).

    Chick has a strange mind. I find it absolutely delightful.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. I got a Jack Chick comic where he claims the Catholics are building a super computer called "The Beast" that they will use to track down and mark people with the numbers 666, so who knows what he really believes.

    Is Chick even still alive?

    I love the panel where she "chi-blasts" him with Jesus power and he falls down with a THUD.

    I had a bunch of guys try that on me once in town. These three preacher guys (all around 20 years old and from out of town) had surrounded some emo kid and it didn't look fair.
    So I went over and told them to let the kid eat his lunch in peace. And then one of the preacher guys goes "I believe that whatever I ask for in the name of Jesus I will get --- IN THE NAME OF JESUS: BE GONE! LEAVE NOW!" while he was glaring at me, waving his hands. It didn't work. I told him: "Your magic tricks don't work on me".

    I collect tracts and religious propaganda. In fact my house is decorated with a few blown-up copies of panels from various (non-Jack Chick) Christian Comics.
    Yes, I am a weirdo.
    We don't have Halloween in my country but if we did, I would have wanted the comics not the lollies! (what you call "candy")
    I was a weird kid too.

    (Sorry for the brain-dump)

  9. Jill, if we're willing to over look the fundamentalist substance in christian tracts and comics like Chick, they're pretty cryptid and seem like some kind of underground comic for diehard fans of dark humor.

    One day, I'll fill one wall with Chick comics...

    I'll call it JACK ATTACK, or the CHICK FLICK...

  10. PS. Funny story.

    (I feel bad for posting two comments instead of one. I need sleep...)

  11. R.S.:
    Dark humour? Well, I did LOL....

  12. I was at a comic book convention one time, and there was a guy with a huge display of Chick Tracts. I actually got to talking to him, and the interesting thing was that he had a lot of respect for Chick as an independent comics artist even though he found his theology to be completely crazy.

  13. So, what happened to the kid's fangs...does Jesus do dental work now???

  14. Strange that I hadn't ever seen one of these until that Pharyngula entry.

    I'm still not too sure what to make of them. It appears Chick is a partial theist, but rejects some of the trappings of institutionalized theism?

    Really strange.

  15. You guys have seen what Ray wants to drop among your kids' candies come Halloween, right?


    I saved the original tract that was free for download and printing for a limited period of time here (front) and here (back).

    Makes me all happy again looking at this thing.

  16. But Maragon, "Every tract is a 'proven soul-winner,'"

    I once had the entire "Crusaders" comic book series. Great education there. How else would I have known about the Roman Catholic-European Union-United Nations-Masonic Lodge-Latter Day Saints-Wiccan-Church of Satan-Jim Jones-Gerry Brown-Mother Theresa-Islamic-Illuminati-Peewee Herman (Okay, I threw in that last one, myself)plan to take over the world?

    "But what about the incompatable divergence among those groups and individuals?," you ask. Obviously, just to throw us off.

    Craig B.

  17. That DeathBeth tract is disturbing.

    The web site is bad enough, but at least if you keep reading it you get to the God part and realize you've been punked. I can imagine a group of 8 year old kids getting the tract and spinning. How many will go home and read the website?

    Christianity. Giving parents justification to scare the shit out of kids for 2000 years.

  18. If someone gave my kid that DeathBeth tract, I'd egg their house myself.


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