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Thursday, August 28, 2008


Disclaimer: This is a personal-ish rant. It has nothing to do with Christianity, atheism or Ray Comfort. Feel free to skip this post if you like.

To start. I'm a bit of a health nut. Or I am now anyway. I've lost 30+ pounds in the last 6 months, and I did so by combining a sensible diet with 5-7 days a week of intensive cardio and strength training. I am by no means 'stick thin' nor will I ever be - one thing alot of people need to realize is that genetics play almost as big of a role in your body type and your fitness as your lifestyle choices do, but that's a different rant entirely. However, I was never obese in the sense that most people use the word. Over-weight certainly, but not to the point where I think I stood out for it. I was simply too partial to chocolate and would avoid exercise like the plague.
I'm giving this background so people don't take my following diatribe to be an insensitivity towards over-weight people. I know what it's like to be over-weight and I don't consider myself a 'better person' because I've lost the weight.

The second thing to bear in mind while reading this - yes, I am aware that SOME people have medical conditions that cause them to gain or have an incredibly hard time losing weight. Statistically, these people are NOT even CLOSE to being the majority of chronicly obese people in North America. For ever 1 person that is chronicly obese partly because they have a thyroid condition, like 50 others are chronicly obese because they eat way too fucking much and spend hours sedentary. So while I don't hate people who are chronicly obese, I understand that this condition is largely self-imposed and that is the second largest preventable cause of death in the USA today.

Without further ado(about nothing): <------that's an English Major joke.

Hambeasts drive me crazy. You know, like people that are so fat that they roll around on fucking scooters because walking is too much trouble?

I left the gym today and I had to pick up some cat litter in the Superstore(gym shares the same building). Now I'm aware that I'm a bit sweaty and probably don't smell fantastic, but I generally aim to just grab what I need, stay out of people's way and get out of the store as soon as possible. So, I grab the cat litter, and I'm standing in the self-checkout line when this rolling hambeast whaps me in the back of the legs with her fucking scooter. Well, I fucking bite my tongue but I shoot her a dirty look. She scowls at me while we wait in line, me with my cat litter, her with her ham-basket full of twix, bacon and mayo and one of those pre-cooked chickens. So, I'm checking out and she moves to the self-serve checkout next to mine and as I'm walking past her on my way out she pokes me in the fucking shoulder. So I turn around, and she shakes her fucking jowls at me and informs me that I should "be ashamed of myself." And when I ask her why I should feel this way, she informs me that walking around in the Superstore "all sweaty from the gym" is disgusting, rude and makes her nauseous. So, I smile at her, and I inform her that SHE makes ME sick. Because she's severly obese and doing nothing whatsoever about it. Because she can't even WALK through the Superstore and yet she's buying the fattiest food she can find. Because at least MY sweat is from exercising while her's is from the strain of being 300 pounds too many. Why should I feel shamed for exercising by some woman who probably can't even wipe her own ass? And I walk away while she's shouting for a manager to eject me from the store "for being rude to her."

So, I hope you guys don't hate me now, but I seriously wanted to get that off of my chest.


  1. Funny, I read this just before I was getting ready to go workout.

    Seriously, I go out sweaty all the time from working out. I simply do not have time to take 3 showers a day. I do freshen up with deodorant and such, but I'm most likely not a flower garden fashion queen when I get done working out either. I would have done the same thing you did.

    Congrats on your weight loss! I have a thyroid condition that is hard to regulate with medication and while I'm not a stick, I am by NO MEANS fat either. If I ever were to get fat, however, I've been told by my endocrinologist that it would be really hard for me to take it off because of my thyroid condition and not being able to take a normal dose of the meds for it. I have to be extra careful with my diet choices, exercise everyday, and make sure I take good care of myself in general so that weight never becomes an issue.

    I guess what gets me is people like my sister-in-law who have severe obesity to the point of it being life threatening and they blame everything in the whole world except themselves on why they can't lose weight. The thing is though, she would never, ever go near any form of exercise and all she ever ate was refined sugar and junk. She has an enlarged heart and brain tumors and they told her she was too big to operate on so she had bariatric surgery to drop the weight. Guess what? It really didn't help that much because she still refuses to exercise even a little and she still eats the exact same crap she always ate. My brother will be a widow within the next few short years if she doesn't change her ways and there will be nothing to blame for it except her excuses.

    Whew, guess I had a bit to get off my chest, too!

  2. Maragon,

    I have never seen any of those species in Ontario. I saw lots at Halifax, though.

    The levels of fatness attained today in the USA cannot be justified by genetics nor by health problems. A few I could believe, but the so many I can't.

    The problem you had is classic. I bet this woman is one of those who thinks she is entitled to everything because she is "handicapped." So, she decided to hit you with her scooter. Then, since you gave her the stare, she got angry because you violated her "right" to have little mishaps because of her "condition." Thus, she had to tell you something offensive, because, she is "entitled." You answered yet again violating her "entitlement." I hope she has learned that she is not entitled to anything.

    Anyway, I am not insensitive either. I have two aunts with thyroid conditions. They have won weight, and they feel so bad. I insist that they are the nicest girls around. Anyway, despite their problem, they do not get anything close to those scooter people.

    I would rant about them too, but I rather stop.


  3. Good work on the weight loss. Simple lifestyle changes and some hard work go a long way if you're consistent.

    These are the kinds of stories that you read and wish they were made up. I don't tolerate lazy fat people very well.

    On a related note, I sweat A LOT due to my lifestyle (I eat 5000+ calories a day, huge amounts of protein, trying to gain more muscle. My metabolism is like a giant furnace.) I get asked "did you run here?" a lot. I sweat just sitting around, even though I'm in good shape. My BMI is considered "obese" which makes me laugh since I'm fairly lean. I get all kinds of looks in public when I'm walking around with sweat pouring down my face. I've gotten used to it.

  4. NM,

    First of all congrats to you on accepting your condition and taking responsibility for it. I'm certain that it's far more difficult for you to make healthy choices and exercise than it would be to simply let yourself go because you 'have a condition'.

    I think your sister in law is exactly the kind of person I'm talking about. The obesity is self-inflicted and yet they absolutely refuse to take personal responsibility for it or work to rectify the problem whatsoever.


    Hambeasts were a rarity in Ontario, but they are becoming increasingly common as the over all size of our population increases.

    What got me was that she felt I was the one who should be ashamed of myself for doing something good for myself. Since when is exercise something we look down on?

  5. I don't think it was entitlement that made her act they way she did. As an obese person and an objection of derision, she would be hypersensitive about her condition.

    I forget the pyschological term for it (I only did a term of pyschology) but she transferred her self-loathing onto you because you represent what she should be and, perhaps, at that moment, you embodied all the snide looks and comments she has ever recieved about her weight.

    When you bit back, she became the 'victim' as self-defence even though she was the intiator.

    She's probably stored it away in her file of 'prejudice against fat people'. Never mind about prejudice about sweaty people.

    I wouldn't worry about it. You had your say, she asked for it and maybe it could be the jolt that gets her off that scooter and onto her own feet.

  6. maragon,

    Congratulations on the weight loss. Both you and nonmagic have me jealous since I still have about a month before I can start working out again. Keep up the good work.

  7. I could write something intelligent, but instead I'll just say that I think that women are kinda sexy when they're all sweaty after a workout (or dancing).

    I'm weird, I know.

  8. You're not weird, Lance (you are sinful, though). I just didn't want to be the first to write the sheen of sweat on a woman. Those beach volleyball babes... Wow!

  9. I have a good friend of mine who stayed with us for awhile this year who once confessed that he never found me quite as attractive as he did when I came back from the gym.

    So, you guys aren't freakshows. =)

  10. No, Maragon. I'm a freak. In fact, I'm Super Freak.

  11. I know that I'm late to the party, but I too find hot and sweaty women in their exercise gear HOT.

    I have an aunt (living in Canada) who is morbidly obese (self respect issues) and I am so bloody shallow that I can't see past that. She came to visit once, and I made her walk somewhere with me and upped the pace a bit.

    But, yeah, I can relate Maragon.

  12. Maragon,
    I liked the Rant-agon, and I like sharing pet peeves with my cronies sometimes.

    I have been lucky in that obesity didn't seem to run in either side of my family other tha one uncle.

    I ate everything and everything I wanted all my life until I turned 50 and got stuck on a one desk job. I had always been very active with the kids but as they moved out there seemed to be less activities and I became more sedentary. I am 5-10 and was up to 185# 3 months ago.

    I stated watching my calories for the first time in my life and increased my ohysical activity. I am now down to 178#. It is really hard to take off weight at this age because it piles up around my waist (classical beer belly.)

    At one time I had a six pack of abs, but now I have a keg of abs- and yes, I do like good beer.

    Finally that stupid Lance stole what I was going to say, but any time you and NM g3et alll sweated up, feel free to come over to my place-
    After a goood work out my wife and I have ...well....you know....

  13. On behalf of gross fat people everywhere, I would like to apologize to Maragon for this woman's behavior.

    I have no will power. It would be easy for me to lose weight if I could just force myself to work out, but I really and truly hate it more than anything.

    Also, I'm sweating right now because my pho was very spicy. Is that sexy?

  14. Jason,

    Holy fuck you have a picture with PZ Myers....and an engineering ring?

    "On behalf of gross fat people everywhere, I would like to apologize to Maragon for this woman's behavior."

    Most over-weight people aren't gross. It's the scooter brigade that bothers me. Can you walk around under your own power? Then you and I are cool.

    "I have no will power. It would be easy for me to lose weight if I could just force myself to work out, but I really and truly hate it more than anything."

    I didn't have any will power either. My fiance would buy like a box of those Hostess Cupcakes and then go to class and by the time he came home I would have, more often than not, eaten the entire 6 cupcakes myself. That was pretty well on a daily basis. Some days I went ahead and combined that with rice krispie squares or peanut butter M&M's. Realistically I should have been like 300 pounds with the way I ate and sat on my ass constantly - but thanks to me genes I never got higher than 200.

    I don't know what exactly it was that got me to start caring about what it was I ate and did with myself. But one day I just woke up and decided that I needed to go running(walking briskly was what it ended up being - heh). And it was just little steps from there. Now I'm much slimmer and I exercise daily in some form or fashion and I watch what I eat. Turns out that vegetables and fruit taste pretty good and that cupcakes aren't really a good source of anything.

    I'll tell you something though - I STILL don't like exercising. No, seriously. I spend at least an hour a day doing something I don't like. Cardio machines are torture and strength training is fucking difficult. I hate yoga even though the stretching feels nice. Jogging is the physical equivalent of reading Ray's posts. But I do it. I do it all. Not because I like to exercise, but because I like how I feel after I exercise. And I've found that the more you make it a routine and 'non-negotiable' the easier it is to do. I don't give myself a choice, I just go.

    I don't know, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I still think that the most important thing is to be happy with who you are. I'm just kind of....talking. I find it hard to self-evaluate at points and I find describing things to others helps me do that.

  15. Lance, I'm preparing to dance my ass off for hours tonight. Get ready to see me sweat like crazy!


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