Our New Home

We have a new home, come join us at WeAreSMRT (We Are Skeptical Minds & Rational Thinkers)

The Forum

Friday, August 22, 2008

No Rain Before Noah? (Funny Things Fundies Believe Part 1,495,638)

Probing the creationist mindset is a fascinating anthropological exercise. Here's one that's new to me...it didn't rain before Noah.



There are a few posts on this topic in this thread:



  1. Actually, if one takes the bible literally, scripture could be interpreted to come to these conclusions. So much for scripture being literal.

  2. Comment on that site:
    "It just struck me how strange it is that there was not one single person who believed Noah in all the years it took to build the ark. What are the odds? I would assume there was a good size population at the time. Must have been "gang mentality" at work. How sad"

    As opposed to the gang mentality of believing the flood without any evidence thereof. If this shit happened today, I doubt that person would believe the nutjob building a giant vessel before the flood. Or, maybe she will.

  3. My father is a literalist fundie, and he gets all involved with the maths of calculating the atmospheric pressure in pre-flood days caused by the weight of the "water above" Genesis 1:6-7
    He is convinced that this increased atmospheric pressure was the cause of the longevity of Adam & his descendants.
    He is (was) a very bright man, an electrical engineer. I will always feel guilty for introducing him to the church.
    Once he found jesus, the bible and the church consumed him, his creativity disappeared, he became an alcoholic, and is no longer the man I knew when I was a teenager.
    It's very sad. He was sure my mother was possessed because she refused to say the words "jesus is lord"

  4. To compensate for the previous unhappiness, here is a joke:

    After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

    "So, how is everything going?" enquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

    And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.. .she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced' as she put it.

    "That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

    Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

    "Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

    God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see... where did I put that useless tit?"

  5. The thought that people have spent serious amounts of time rationalizing how the animals fit on the Ark is beyond belief. I bet the guy who wrote the story didn't put that much thought into it. He just cobbled together a few old myths to make some point about how powerful his god is.

  6. anthropological?


  7. Several of my Aunts and cousins suddenly became "reborn in the holy spirit." They got all enthusiastic, tried to convert everyone they knew, and all. Somehow they knew I was something else, because they never tried. The enthusiasm finally faded away. Some of them still claim to be reborns, but do not show those horrible fundie symptoms. The others just dismiss the question with some disgust or with indifference. Hopefully your Dad will come back all right.

    That story about the useless tit is nice. But I ruined it for myself, I guessed the end all right.



Unlike Ray we don't censor our comments, so as long as it's on topic and not spam, fire away.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.