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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Atheist Tract! (The Theist Test)

You've taken "The Atheist Test", now take The Theist Test:

The intelligent design of the whale.
“A couple of hundred years ago, an invisible guy made an animal. He made it big. He chucked it in the water, but didn’t let it breathe under water. As time passed he decided to make some silly looking teeth for the animal that made sure it could only eat really, really small things.”

Of course, my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the whale is God-made, there must be a more efficient way. If it is designed, there must be a
pretty crap designer. The alternative, that it happened by extremely slow changes through reproduction, is to move into common sense.

The chilli -- the theist's nightmare.
Note that the chilli:
1. Is not shaped for the human hand
2. Has slippery surface
3. Has vague indicators of inward content:
Green- tasty,
Yellow- tasty,
Red- tasty.
Black – Not so tasty.
4. You eat the wrapper.
5. The wrapper burns the human mouth.
6. The seeds burn even more.
7. When raw is vicious to taste buds
8. Is curved at random to make eating process odd

To say that the chilli was designed for eating is even more unintelligent than to say it would feel good to rub the seeds on your testicles.


The person who thinks the Whale had a designer is:

A. Delusional ___ 

B. Indoctrinated ___

C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious

Did you know that the eye has a whopping great blind spot where the nerve endings hit the retina?

Pope John Paul II said,

“New knowledge leads us to recognize in the theory of evolution more than a hypothesis. ...The convergence, neither sought nor induced, of results of work done independently one from the other,
constitutes in itself a significant argument in favor of this theory."

If a god cant make a perfect eye, how could anyone in his right mind think that eyes formed by omnipotent “intelligent” design? In fact the eye has some of its receptors reverse, nerve endings causing blind spots and other haphazard features. The eye changed slowly over time, it created, reformed and developed… but none would say it was made all at once. Yet the eye is only one of the imperfect designs in our body and nature in general.

Pope Leo X said,
"It has served us well, this myth of Christ”

Ray Comfort said,
"I merely extract what I believe is of value for those who want to discover the truth about the theory of evolution."


A. Do you know of any religion that didn’t take money or services?

___ YES ___ NO

B. Do you know of any holy text that hasn’t been revised or edited?

___ YES ___ NO

C. Do you know of any god that wasn’t made up by a vivid imagination?

___ YES ___ NO

If you answered "YES" for any of the above, give details: _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

Could I convince you that I dropped 400 billion planets into our solar system and that by chance one of them might generate and sustain life? The logical conclusion isn’t that there’s a very reasonable chance. The odds of at least 1 life baring planet in 400 billion is pretty underwhelming, compared to assuming that one planet is the centre of all meaning.


A. From the atom to the universe, is there order?

___ YES ___ NO

B. Did it happen by accident?

___ YES ___ NO

C. Or, must there have been an intelligent mind?

___ YES ___ NO

D. What are the chances of at least 1 planet generating and sustaining life in a universe of 400 billion? ______________________

If you answered "YES" for any of the above, give details: _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

The declaration "There is a God" is what is known as an absolute statement. For an absolute statement to be true, I must have absolute knowledge.

Here is another absolute statement: "There is no gold in China." 


What do I need to have for that statement to be true?

A. No knowledge of China.

___ YES ___ NO

B. Partial knowledge of China.

___ YES ___ NO

C. Absolute knowledge of China.

___ YES ___ NO

"C" is the correct answer. For the statement to be true, I must know that there is no gold in China, or the statement is incorrect. To say "There is a God," and to be correct in the statement, I must be omniscient.

I must know how many hairs are upon every head, every thought of every human hear, every detail of history, every atom within every rock...nothing is hidden from my eyes...I know the intimate
details of the secret love-life of the fleas on the back of the black cat of Napolean's[sic] great-grandmother. To make the absolute statement "There is a God." I must have absolute knowledge that there is one.
Let's say that this circle represents all the knowledge in the entire universe, and let's assume that you have an incredible 1% of all that knowledge. Is it possible, that in the knowledge you haven't yet come across, there is ample evidence to categorically deny that your particular God exists? If you are reasonable, you will have to say, "Having the limited knowledge that I ha
ve at present, I believe that there is a God." In other words, you don't know if God exists, so you are not a “theist," you are what is commonly known as an "agnostic." You are like a man who looks at a book, and doesn't know it was written by a human.


The man who sees a book and doesn't know if there was a human writer is: 

A. Intelligent ___ 

B. A fool ___

C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious

Perhaps you have questions that hold you back from rationality. First, almost every question you have about suffering humanity etc. can be adequately answered.
Second, we have rationality in plenty of things we don't understand.
Did you understand the mechanics of television before you turned it on? Probably not. But you repeatedly observed others turning it on and you made a logical conclusion that you could turn it on, and after it worked, you knew that observation and logic were a good measure of reality. We accept that there are unseen television waves right in front of our eyes. We can't see them without the aid of instruments. For them to manifest, we need a receiver, then we can enjoy the experience of television. We don’t assume a mythical being sends radiation.

God is not flesh and blood. He is the product of ignorance and imagination. Unlike the television waves, he cannot be empirically observed with any "receiver" or instrument. Here is something you will find hard to believe: God created the moon as a light (Genesis1:16), but it isn’t a light.
That isn’t ambiguous. Observation shows that the moon only reflects light. Approach the subject the same way you approached your first television set. Just make a small observation. If the moon is always full, believe in God it, if it isn't, forget about God.

Or have you an ulterior motive? Could it be that the "theist" can't find logic, for the same reason a thief can't find a policeman? Could it be that your love for religion is clouding your good judgment? If the Bible is true, and God is just and righteous you owe it to yourself just to check it out. Here is how to do that:


With a tender conscience, check this list of the Ten Commandments:

  1. Have I always loved God my Creator with all my heart, mind, soul and strength?
  2. Have I made a god in my own image a god to suit myself?
  3. Have I ever used God's name in vain?
  4. Have I kept the Sabbath holy?
  5. Have I always honored my parents implicitly?
  6. Have I murdered (God considers hatred as murder)?
  7. Have I committed adultery (including premarital sex and lust)?
  8. Have I stolen (the value is irrelevant)?
  9. Have I lied (including fibs and these questions)?
  10. Have I coveted (been greedy or materialistic)?

____YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO ___ YES ___NO

If you have even broken one Law, then you have sinned against God and therefore will "surely die,"
for the "wages of sin is death."

We are all told that we are guilty of breaking the Commandments. Ask yourself if a being can be considered just or righteous if it sets rules and laws that are impossible to obey and then punishes you for breaking them. Imagine if you were thrown in jail for eating.

We are guilty of violating His Law a multitude of times, yet if we realise he doesn’t exist, we can move past psychologically damaging guilt and make up for time wasted on rituals. 100 years of modern science has blatantly refuted the bible and provided us the lifestyle we have today —"There is a single light of science and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere.” - Isaac Asimov

Religion will tell you God doesn't want you to go to Hell, yet he needlessly sets out rules you are destined to break. Please, examine your arguments; consider the rationality of worshiping a zombie demi-god. Make commonsense your default, then read your Bible and always question what you have read; God will let you down. Thank you for taking the time to read this booklet.

Subverted from God Doesn't Believe in Atheists
by Ray Comfort (Living Waters)
You can waste a lot of money on a lot of other delusional things from him.


  1. Ugh... its super hard to format on this thing... I'll fix the 10 commandments later

  2. Vagon,

    Very nice, but I saw in the Indiana Jones movie that there was an actual Ark of the Covenant, that contained God's awesome power, and melted the flesh off of the bad guys.

    How do you explain that? Well?

    Yeah, I thought so!

    Watch "Hell's Best Kept Secretion"

  3. Uh oh.
    BF is chanelling Terry Burton.

  4. [To make the absolute statement "There is a God." I must have absolute knowledge that there is one.]
    No I don't.

  5. BF, it was obviously places on earth by crystal-skulled aliens.

    *shudders at recalling that movie*

  6. Ben F - I had a little trouble in solving this issue too. But I have it on good word that Hitler was a Christian so there's no way Nazis are bad and hence that was just ultra-realistic CGI when you saw the skin melt away!!!

    MrFreeThinker - Go tell Ray that, I just used his argument reversed.

    In his grip,


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