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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Some More INTJ Stuff

We had a bit of fun with the personality test a while back and as a student of human nature I thought it was interesting to find that, I think, the majority of us were introverts to some degree. My own interest in this started fairly early in life when I realized I wasn't quite like other people and it did rather bother me.

So, coincidentally, I posted last evening about a great social outing I had because it just doesn't happen that often, and then about an hour ago, #2 daughter, who works in Human Development sent me this link. Incidentally, she is a also an INTJ.

After all those years it is still one of my greatest discoveries, to find that I, supposedly, fall into the normal range of human personalities. As you may remember me writing, it was only about five years ago that Mrs. Frog figured it out, through her sister, and sent me a link on my email, an article titled "The Care and Feeding of Your Introvert."

I'm tellin ya, after thirty years she finally understood the "why." Who knew it would take this long, or that the relationship could have survived it?

The link is meant to be humorous, and is exaggerated, but nonetheless true if you know what I mean. Some of you have been there.



  1. OMNG Dale this is GREAT !!

    My favorite:

    Q: My INTJ isn’t sensitive to my feelings. Should I take offense?

    A: We aren’t even sensitive to our own feelings. Why should we be expected to be sensitive to yours? We won’t even try to fake it. Insincerity is a pet peeve of ours, and anyway, it would ruin our reputation if we ever showed emotion.

    They've been spying on me!

  2. Sorry, but this is just too close to home!

    Q: My INTJ won’t talk to me. What should I do?

    A: What subjects are you trying to talk about? Most INTJs hate gossip, and all of us hate talk of relationships. We also don’t do small talk. Try quantum physics, psychology, or some other deep (but non-touchy/feely) topic. If all else fails, try email instead.


  3. I remember coming across this site the last time we talked about INTJ's, I posted it in a comment but I don't think anyone saw it.

    Alot of it is really true for me, but I was a little disturbed that a number of the famous fictional INTJ's listed were murderers. :-/

  4. NM'
    "Sorry, but this is just too close to home!"

    I know.....

    They have been spying on me too, the bastards. And all I'm trying to do is find the unified theory of everything. They don't get it!

  5. SS,
    I haven't offed anyone yet, and I don't have any immediate plans to do so........

  6. Froggie,

    I know, I really have no interest in killing and/or eating anybody either despite sharing a rare personality with Hannibal.

  7. Hannibal is one of my favorite characters of history, right up there with Peter the Great.

    I cannot conceive of the enormity of his resolve and the sacrifices he endured. Awesome.

  8. I liked the fact that Holmes, batman, Ellen Ripley, Asimov, and Angela Lansbury were on the list.

    I noticed a number of individuals listed were also listed as or at least suspected to be asexual (as in no sex drive/not liking sex) on other sites. I wonder if there is a correlation.

  9. SS,
    "I wonder if there is a correlation."

    Good question. I sure wouldn't consider myself as "asexual" but I can tell you that there are certain conditions that have to be met before I go exchanging genetic material with someone.

    On a similar note, if it is as some say, and sexual preference/ identity is a choice, I would have chosen to be bi-sexual, thus doubling my chances?

  10. I sent this to my sister-in-law, who annoyingly turns into a puddle of hurt feelings over the slightest perceived emotional whatthefuckever.

    She told me over the Thanksgiving holiday while I was back east for a visit, that I was 'too much science and not enough emotion and people skills'. I laughed out loud, she nearly burst into tears. I do not get it.

  11. There hasn't been much research on asexuality, I think the last study was in the UK in the mid 90's. They estimated 1% of the UK population was "asexual".

    I feel pretty much the same way about men and women so I thought I was bi, but now I'm thinking I may fall into the asexual category. Or I could be a really late bloomer or something like that. I'm also somewhat aromantic because I can't imagine myself having a spouse. In general I like people, but not living with them, I need my alone time at home. Maybe some INTJ's use their rational thinking a little too much in relationships to the point where they don't see any logical reason to have sex? Maybe some over analyze it??

  12. NM,

    I don't get it either, I probably would have laughed too. I also get comments like that at times when I'm not in a social mood (usually when I'm with family).

  13. SS,
    You are dragging me into some deep water. I like that.

    I'll have to think that through a bit.

    My first question might be, do you like sexual pleasure, either alone or with someone?

  14. Sorry, this is probably the wrong place to get into that type of stuff...

  15. SS,

    Ohhhhhhhhh, now I have to tell a story! You triggered my story gene!

    So I was back home and my sis-in-law asks if I want to go to her job with her for the day. (She takes care of animals.) I love animals, but wanted to spend the day with my mother, seeing as how I hadn't seen her in 2 years.

    So, I said 'No, I want to spend the day with mom.'

    She says 'Are you sure?'

    Me: 'I want to spend the day with mom.'

    She: But it will only be for a few hours!'

    Me: (getting terse)' I want to spend the day with mom.'

    She: 'BUT...'

    Me: ' NO!!!!'

    She then was reduced to a puddle of tears. She brings it on herself. She pesters you until you snap, then acts like a wounded child.

    I will have no part of it and I do not entertain her childlike emo BS.

    I got up and walked away.

    Sorry, I just had to get that out.

    word ver: emobitch (just kidding!)

  16. NM,
    "I sent this to my sister-in-law, who annoyingly turns into a puddle of hurt feelings over the slightest perceived emotional whatthefuckever."

    I think that is why my relationship with my wife survived. She understood intuitively how I operated emotionally.

    Your SIL does not have the capacity for that, thus her being offended at your rationality.

  17. I couldn't tell if the erroneous use of apostrophes in "dvd's... cd's" was an ironic [sic] or just the kind of bad grammar INTJs call other people out on.

    And yes, I just made [sic] a noun.

    Word Ver: skint. Now even Blogger is getting at me.

  18. Froggie,

    I don't really mind, considering since I started this topic (hehe) and how anonymous the internet is, it's not like I can be fired for what I say. I just don't want to make anyone else feel awkward, but I will say I'm pretty much your typical inexperienced nerd. The interesting thing is so are alot of asexuals and when they are confronted with the "how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it" the standard answer is "I don't have much of a desire too and most people want to before their first time." In other words I don't think there has ever been anyone who had no interest in sex until they tried it, usually people fantasize and long for it before hand.

    Oh, also alot of asexuals do masturbate.

  19. NM,
    Been there...Did that!

    This type of person must have continual validation from others.

    They cannot entertain themselves and must have a partner to their madness.....

  20. And what a great noun you just made "[sic]" to be!

    I'm in!

  21. NM,

    Do you also hate surprises, sudden change in plans?? That's what would have bothered me most if I was in your situation. I love animals, but I love knowing what social activities I will be doing days ahead of time even more!!!

  22. SS,
    You said,

    I don't really mind, considering since I started this topic (hehe) and how anonymous the internet is, it's not like I can be fired for what I say. I just don't want to make anyone else feel awkward,...."

    I checked your profile. You are 19years old! Settle down! You haven't even got started yet!

    Ages 10 -23 are notoriously diversified and questioning! You fall into the normal range, just like me and NM do with our introversion.

    You are a smart cookie and you need to have time to tease out the truth of your existence, and in the meantime, you will connect.

  23. Froggie,

    Thanks :), but it's hard to remember that when every other person around my age is talking either about sex or relationships nonstop.

  24. SS,

    I want to tell you something. I have seen this over and over in my experience.

    One parent is concerned that their child is too promiscuous when another thinks their child is not interested in the opposite sex!

    You are totally normal and if you don't quit whining about it I might have to come over there and beat some sense into your head (metaphorically speaking!)

    If I could have only known more about myself when I was your age!

    Take. Your. Time. K?

  25. SS,
    In my part of the world the flowers, with all their beauty and flashiness bloom early in the sping, but the fruit matures later, much later.......

  26. SS,

    Do you also hate surprises, sudden change in plans?? That's what would have bothered me most if I was in your situation. I love animals, but I love knowing what social activities I will be doing days ahead of time even more!!!

    You nailed it!

  27. Froggie,

    OK, I'll try not to push it.


    I'm glad I'm not the only one =D

  28. SS,
    "but I love knowing what social activities I will be doing days ahead of time even more!!!"

    Hehe, even then, I don't do them.

  29. I'm INTP, so I can only relate to about 75% of it. : )

    But yeah...the whole introvert thing. I'm happy that I understand it now. On Friday, my wife asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and some of her friends (people I like for the most part).

    I had worked all day - part of it included reading Cyrano de Bergerac out loud, where I take the lead part, of course, and totally pour whatever acting chops I might have into it. Needless to say, I was exhausted by the end of the day and didn't feel like talking to anybody.

    So, I had to pass. It was more important to me to just hang out by myself and watch a movie.

  30. I just found out that my sis-in-law is an ESFJ. No wonder we never get along.

    My husband is an INTJ like myself so it makes perfect sense why we get along so well.

    I think it would be interesting to see, for those of us who are married, what our spouses types are and how that impacts our relationships.

  31. Lance,

    I predict that Kirsti is an ENTJ.

  32. I don't remember exactly what she is, but she is an introvert. She's not quite as introverted as I am though. Every now and then, she feels like she needs to hang out with some people. But after that, she needs some time by herself. She also isn't all that keen on going out and partying - but it doesn't make her feel as uncomfortable as it does me.

  33. Nonmagic - your question about the impact of personalities on relationships is a good one, and I have been mulling on it all night (after reading the first bit of this blog). I am an INTP (although I think that I might have lied a little bit about J characteristics because I didn't want to be those).

    I've had a very fraught 20 year marriage - I've made decisions which, while at an individual level, I don't regret, but because they have hurt my wife, I do regret them. Nuff said on that. She is an empath, whereas I am insular, analytical, non romantic etc. She requires romamnce, whereas I find it really hard to do. I also find emotion hard to do, and when we are arguing I just shut off when all of that happens. Which of course is the wrong strategy.

    I have learnt how to respond to certain situations (with the right words and phrases) but a cookbook approach doesn't always work.

    There's plenty more to the story, but that'll do for now.

  34. Kiwi,

    Interesting. I wonder if people would be better off if they considered the personality profile of their potential spouse before they got married.

    I'm wondering because thinking back, I think I kicked out every guy I ever dated who wasn't INTJ. Not purposefully, it's not like I handed a Myers Briggs to everyone I dated, it's just that looking back I think the personality traits that caused us to break up were usually the exact opposite of INTJ. I could handle someone slightly off on a couple of traits, but not the exact opposite.

  35. Lance,

    I thought because of her job she was an E, not an I !! I was sure I had that one pegged.

  36. Well, I'm an I and I'm talking to people all day at my job! But that explains why I want to crawl into a cave at the end of the day.


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