There are so many different, dueling versions in Christianity about how to "be saved". One group will say believe and ask Jesus into your heart, another will say 'No, that's not enough, you have to do this or that', and another will say you have to follow the 10 Commandments, be baptized, ect. No wonder it's confusing to some people.
But worry no longer. It has now been completely figured out. Remember when Ray told us that his God doesn't hear the prayers of atheists OR those with any willful sin in their lives? Well, that brought up the question as to how anyone could ever even approach this deity of his in the first place since we all start out as atheists at birth. And even if you were able to approach him, you can't repent, because Ray's God won't hear you if you've willfully sinned. But now, All Fired Up has cleared up the whole problem for us.
Not only can you never approach their deity because he won't hear you, but no matter how sincere you are when you do, it doesn't matter. You can be as sincere as you want and ask this deity into your heart your whole life, and he doesn't give a flying damn. You can dedicate your life to him, ask him into your heart, and screw it, it matters not.
So, there you have it, folks. There is no need for us to concern ourselves with this Christianity nonsense any longer. Their God would never hear our prayer, no matter how sincere, and no amount of anything matters to him.
I'd like to thank Ray Comfort and All Fired Up for advertising what a useless prick their god is. Saves us all a lot of time.
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Well, hell, why didn't they say so in the first place? If Ray hadn't taken the time to argybargy with the likes of us, he could have copypasted six additional book-like-objects by now.
ReplyDeleteIt really is just classic! Every time they come across someone who doesn't believe exactly what they believe, no matter WHAT the reason, they just move the goalpost as to why that person never was 'saved' in the first place!
ReplyDeleteOne minute it's because their god is willfully deaf, the next it's because you were sincere, the next minute it's because you don't believe their book is true, the next it's because you believe in evolution...and the list goes on.
Basically, it's just a bunch of bullshit to excuse their bigotry against anyone not just like them.
Don't ever lose AFU's post on this. It's got a lot of value, especially since said fundy most often types without thinking.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention the entertainment value...
Apparently, you can only be truly saved and a true Christian if you worship at the Church of Kiss Ray Comfort's Ass. Guess I'm headed for Hell. "No stop signs, speed limits..."
ReplyDeleteActually, it reminds me of something I came across before:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.php
Rufus,
ReplyDeleteThe video for Kissing Hank's Ass is great.
Pure primitive Calvinism. The elect go to heaven, the rest are screwed. Just like the Jehova's Witnesses believe, only about some of themselves. Or some branches of Islam.
ReplyDeleteCan't be said often enough - they can't all be right, but they very well can all be wrong.
Felix,
ReplyDeleteI love the quote "they can't all be right, but they very well can all be wrong".
nonmagic,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 50th post!
I no longer have to worry about whether or not Jebus is paying attention; now what about the other 10,000+ magical beasties that I could potentially believe in...
Oh Man! I missed that rebuttal! AllFiredUp posted it under a different article than my original post. Man! That was sneaky. I was busy responding to replies in the same thread and lo and behold there's a new rebuttal way the hake over there! My contest entry sure got their hackles raised.
ReplyDeleteI also posted my original essay on my blog, so if it got deleted, I'd still have a record of what I said.
Well, I'm off to do some rebutting of the AllFiredUp. I'm thinking of changing my handle to TheTrueScotsman. I probably won't, so it's still up for grabs. Bye y'all!