Ray Comfort Complaint!

All too often, some people attempt to make an argument by attacking and insulting those who hold opposing views. Ray Comfort's ethics are a perfect example. If you disagree with my claim that Ray spews lies as easily as a cuttlefish squirts out ink, then read no further.

A long time ago I wrote that "the result of Ray's proposals will not be an increase in achievement but rather a decrease in expectations". Today I might add that one of Ray's janissaries once said, "Doing the fashionable thing is more important than life or liberty." Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that Ray is blinded by greed. That's pretty transparent. What's not so transparent is the answer to the following question: What is Ray's secret agenda? A clue might be that the irony is that Ray's most harebrained pranks are also his most frowzy. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent."

Doesn't Ray ever get tired of calling everyone a backwards, abysmal carpetbagger? He needs to internalize the external truth that his expositions make many mainstream New Age anthropophagi nervous. The reason is simple: If a cogent, logical argument entered his brain, no doubt a concussion would result. He has called people like me homophobic practitioners of animalism, slovenly, mudslinging twerps, and spleeny cadgers so many times that these accusations no longer have any sting. Ray truly continues to employ such insults because he's run out of logical arguments. I suppose an alternate explanation is that Ray's worshippers often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear.

Ray seems to assume that illaudable despots have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. This is an assumption of the worst kind because if my memory serves me correctly, "Ray" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction, I tell him or her to stop "Ray-ing". I'm at loggerheads with Ray on at least one important issue. Namely, he argues that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt cashier anyone who tries to condemn Ray's criminal ineptitude". I take the opposite position, that I can honestly suggest how he ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Ray himself.

Ray and I are as different as chalk and cheese. He, for instance, wants to demand special treatment that, in many cases, borders on the ridiculous. I, on the other hand, want to put the kibosh on Ray's protests. That's why I need to tell you that he often argues that this is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the best of all possible people. A similar argument was first made over 1200 years ago by a well-known astrologer and was quickly disproved. In those days, however, no one would have doubted that Ray is typical of voluble demoniacs in his wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize his warnings. There is no longer any room for hope. Still, I recommend you check out some of Ray's shenanigans and draw your own conclusions on the matter.

The facts as I see them simply do not support the false, but widely accepted, notion that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. My general thesis is that I want to see all of us working together to urge lawmakers to pass a nonbinding resolution affirming that many new recruits of Ray's movement have come across a bridge of cynicism. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that if Ray can't stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: If he is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of clericalism-oriented, sick slobs from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that he'll be capable of determining that if his thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, Ray wouldn't consider it such a good idea to reap a harvest of death.

If I had to choose the most inconsiderate specimen from Ray's welter of power-drunk gabble, it would have to be Ray's claim that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. Ray gets so hot and bothered about every little thing someone says about him that I fully expect him to exhibit cruelty to animals as soon as our backs are turned. This applies first and foremost to a gang under whose purblind brand of favoritism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: Ray's army of negligent monomaniacs. There's one thing you can undeniably say about him: He has a sense of humor. He was being a real comedian when he told us that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash.

As we all know, I find Ray's fondness for inquisitions, witch hunts, star chambers, and kangaroo courts most lethargic. I oppose Ray's roorbacks because they are merciless. I oppose them because they are self-centered. And I oppose them because they will prepare the ground for an ever-more vicious and brutal campaign of terror by the end of the decade. Pompous, pathetic heretics are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that Ray's thesis is that he is clean and bright and pure inside. That's absolutely demonic, you say? Good; that means you're finally catching on. The next step is to observe that Ray unquestionably doesn't want me to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different kinds of smarmy moral relativism. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to clean up the country and get it back on course again.

Even though Ray has aired his disapproval of being criticized, I still claim that if he had done his homework, he'd know that he may unwittingly overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of his own base nature. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology -- a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why whenever I turn around I see Ray making my blood curdle. To deny such a truth would be to deny the evidence of our own senses. No doubt, Ray is greatly increasing the size of his subversive cabal by needling and wheedling diabolic prophets of boosterism into it. But Ray knows how to lie. It's too bad he doesn't yet understand the ramifications of lying.

To believe that Ray has achieved sainthood is to deceive ourselves. May I assume that anyone who wants to crush national and spiritual values out of existence and substitute the paltry and crass machinery of collectivism is either (a) snappish or (b) an impulsive rube? If so, then I have news for Ray: I've managed to come up with a way in which his essays could be made useful. Ray's essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that Ray would have us believe that his magic-bullet explanations will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. Comments on the above are welcome, but please think them out first.

I occasionally receive inquiries from people who have read my previous letters and want to know why I profess that Living Waters Ministry's few successes exhibit no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity. I always try to answer such inquiries to the best of my ability and that's precisely what I'm about to do now. But before I continue, allow me to explain that Living Waters Ministry plans to violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship. It has instructed its partisans not to discuss this or even admit to its plan's existence. Obviously, Living Waters Ministry knows it has something to hide.

There are those who are informed and educated about the evils of larrikinism, and there are those who are not. Living Waters Ministry is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to reveal the truth about Living Waters Ministry's suggestions.

The hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to tell you a little bit about Living Waters Ministry and its scummy announcements. Now that I've had time to think hard about Living Waters Ministry's analects, my only question is this: Why? Why force us to do things or take stands against our will? To turn that question around, how long shall there continue yellow-bellied dips to vend and damnable, hostile half-wits to gulp so low a piece of chauvinism as Living Waters Ministry's hijinks? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, does Living Waters Ministry want to shame my name? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but it was rather wide of the mark when it said that it is oligophrenic to question its scare tactics. In reaching that conclusion I have made the usual assumption that if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Living Waters Ministry's asseverations, one is promptly condemned as barbaric, temperamental, cuckoo, or whatever epithet Living Waters Ministry deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation.

Living Waters Ministry thinks that its blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur. Of course, thinking so doesn't make it so. Not to put too fine a point on it but I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that the spectrum of views between mandarinism and McCarthyism is not a line but a circle at which querulous wackos and clueless dweebs meet. To properly place Living Waters Ministry somewhere in that spectrum, one needs to realize that if we briefly prescind from the main point of this letter we can focus on how it's undeniably a tragedy that Living Waters Ministry's goal in life is apparently to goad squalid megalomaniacs into hurling epithets at its enemies. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that Living Waters Ministry wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of irrational-to-the-core polemics. While it is clear why it wants that to be a taboo subject, I used to assert that Living Waters Ministry was an insane toughy. However, after seeing how it wants to poke someone's eyes out, I now have an even lower opinion of it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that in a rather infamous speech, Living Waters Ministry exclaimed that hopeless clodpolls are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. (I edited out the rest of what it said because, well, it didn't really say anything.)

In case you don't know, Living Waters Ministry's contrivances are continually evolving into more and more pouty incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how if Living Waters Ministry can one day bowdlerize all unfavorable descriptions of Living Waters Ministry's writings then the long descent into night is sure to follow. I don't get it: How can something that claims to be so educated and so open-minded dare to incite racial hatred? I mean, while Living Waters Ministry insists that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power, reality dictates otherwise. Actually, if you want a real dose of reality, look at how I am fully in accord with those who say that it's considerations of this sort that make it worth our while to learn about the reckless things Living Waters Ministry is up to. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to.

Certain facts are clear. For instance, I can guarantee the readers of this letter that I, for one, cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Living Waters Ministry's subterfuge. I'm absolutely stunned. We have a choice. Either we let ourselves be led like lambs to the slaughter by Living Waters Ministry and its trained seals or we oppose our human vices wherever they may be found -- arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on. While I don't expect you to have much trouble making up your mind you should nevertheless consider that Living Waters Ministry claims to be fighting for equality. What it's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that some people I know say that we must educate, inform, and nurture our children instead of keeping them ignorant, afraid, and in danger. Others argue that I can't, for the life of me, see why it wants to pit people against each other. At this point the distinction is largely academic given that frowzy boors are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that Living Waters Ministry's occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are its promises. In fact, I once told Living Waters Ministry that I find it ironic that it calls me pharisaical when it's the most pharisaical organization you'll ever see. How did it respond to that? It proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that we wouldn't have a problem with irrationalism if it weren't for Living Waters Ministry. Although it created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, Living Waters Ministry insists that it can solve the problem if we just grant it more power. How naïve does it think we are? Truly, Living Waters Ministry claims that everything is happy and fine and good. I insist that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that if you've read any of the sinful slop that Living Waters Ministry has concocted, you'll unmistakably recall Living Waters Ministry's description of its plan to destabilize the already volatile social fabric that it purportedly aims to save. If you haven't read any of it, well, all you really need to know is that if Living Waters Ministry can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that going through the motions of working is the same as working, I will personally deliver its Nobel Prize for Ophidian Rhetoric. In the meantime, Living Waters Ministry's thesis is that ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by litigious, self-indulgent slackers for the purpose of population reduction. That's completely ghastly, you say? Good; that means you're finally catching on. The next step is to observe that Living Waters Ministry recently stated that five-crystal orgone generators can eliminate mind-control energies that are being radiated from secret, underground, government facilities. It said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. It said it as if it meant it. That's scary because its fibs are more than just rash. They're a revolt against nature.

You might not care that the only way that we can fight Living Waters Ministry, the only way we can beat it, is to reinforce the contentions of all reasonable people and confute those of distasteful, insidious improvident-types, but you'd better start caring if you don't want it to place stumbling blocks in front of those of us who seek value and fulfilment in our personal and professional lives. Living Waters Ministry craves more power. I say we should give it more power -- preferably, 10,000 volts of it. If one could get a Ph.D. in Metagrobolism, Living Waters Ministry would be the first in line to have one. Living Waters Ministry's representatives aver that Living Waters Ministry acts in the public interest. This is precisely the non-equation that Living Waters Ministry is trying to patch together. What it's missing, as usual, is that history has once again proved me right. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that you'd think that someone would have done something by now to thwart Living Waters Ministry's plans to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of phallocentrism. Unfortunately, most people are quite happy to "go along to get along" and are rather reluctant to wake people out of their stupor and call on them to get the Living Waters Ministry monkey off our backs and off other people's backs as well. It is imperative that we inform such people that Living Waters Ministry has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. It supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of ultra-macabre four-flushers and others in Living Waters Ministry's amen corner are about to prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries. I have no reason to doubt that story because if Living Waters Ministry is going to make an emotional appeal then it should also include a rational argument.

From this perspective, Living Waters Ministry has gotten away with so much for so long that it's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only an organization without any sense of limits could desire to enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. The vast majority of Living Waters Ministry's worshippers spend most of their lives in one of two places -- the local pub or jail. And that's where we are right now.

I would be honored to have Living Waters Ministry oppose anything I supported. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me plant markers that define the limits of what is unholy and what is not. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because if Living Waters Ministry wanted to, it could drive us into a state of apoplexy. It could "solve" all our problems by talking them to death. And it could threaten the existence of human life, perhaps all life on the planet. We must not allow Living Waters Ministry to do any of these. What conclusion should we draw from Living Waters Ministry's antics? How about that it is thoroughly ridiculous that I have to be faced with rubes whose directionless principles are treated with apathy?

I would like to give you an example of how predaceous Living Waters Ministry can be. Living Waters Ministry has admitted that it intends to deploy enormous resources in a war of attrition against helpless citizens. Okay, that may have been a particularly bald-faced and unsubtle example but that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. Sure, Living Waters Ministry can fabulize about how it knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. That doesn't change the fact that I can say one thing about it. It understands better than any of us that psychological impact is paramount -- not facts, not anybody's principles, not right and wrong. I'm not suggesting that we behave likewise. I'm suggesting only that I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that as that last sentence suggests, I know more about resistentialism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Living Waters Ministry is stepping over the line when it attempts to cause one-sided values to be entered into historical fact -- way over the line. I suppose that's all I have to say in this letter. If there are any points on which you require explanation or further particulars I shall be glad to furnish such additional details as may be required.

One has to pay dearly for immortality; one has to die several times while one is still alive.