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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bob Larson, Again

I posted before about Bob Larson, The Real Exorcist. Since his mini-series on the Sci-Fi channel, business has picked up for Bob. I wish I could laugh, but if these people are for real, they need help, and they are not getting it. Here are some of their testimonials:

The following testimonials are just a few of the thousands of emails and phone calls we have received from the miniseries marathon airing of THE REAL EXORCIST on the SciFi channel. We have taken a few comments from these responses to represent a small portion of the immense outpouring of spiritual need from those who saw the marathon. We are doing our best to personally respond to every phone call and email, but the task is enormous. Pray for those who wrote and called because many of them are in desperate spiritual situations. Your prayers and financial support for our ministry make it possible for us to respond to this unprecedented harvest of souls for God’s Kingdom

My life is a living hell. I practice the occult every night with Lucifer. I signed a pact in my blood and buried it with real human bones. My fingers make the shape of claws. I wake up at night growling. I throw up if I go to church. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!
Lori

I grew up in Satanism. I have a multitude of physical and sexual abuse. I want to die. Can you help me?
Name withheld

I have suicidal thoughts and dreams of hurting others. I am fighting something deep within me. Your show forced me to look at the possibility of having a demon inside me.
Adam

I have tried to kill myself and have homicidal thoughts. I even made a list of people I want to kill. I really need some answers.
Laura

You are doing a good work. I too am an exorcist and High priest for a group of Wiccans. I grew up a Southern Baptist and my father was a minister.
Rev. Ken

Since my mother passed she has been coming to me. I’m scared about getting involved with this. I have no other hope, I think.
Samantha

My brother molested me for two years. I find myself with rage and terrible guilt. I don’t know where to turn since my denomination isn’t in the business of exorcisms.
John

I have a life of torture you wouldn’t imagine. My stepbrother attempted to rape me and beat me 30x a day. He tried to kill me. Please pray for me.
Name withheld

I and my boyfriend took your demon test. He scored a 37 and I scored a 29. He has uncontrollable anger and even said he will shoot me. I am begging for you to help us.
Name withheld

As I write this letter something makes me feel sick. When I go to church my feet burn as I cross the doorway. I hate the feeling of the ghosts in my house. Of late I am having thoughts of suicide.
Terry

I was involved in magik and the occult and Aleister Crowley. I guess I’m at the point where I have to reach out and ask for help.
Edward

I have been under attack for years. An evil entered my body and spoke in a language I didn’t understand. I cry as I type this and hurt deeply inside from this pain.
Theresa

My high school sweetheart became abusive when he drank. One night he strangled me in the backseat saying that Satan told him to kill me. I went on a cocaine binge and I’m scared I’m vulnerable to demons. Weeping swept over me in the first 10 minutes of your show.
Name withheld


Financial support. Of course.

10 comments:

  1. WoW.Scary. I wonder what happens to those kind of people

    ReplyDelete
  2. Number one and the Wiccan High priest (sic) can't be real. Most of the others appear very sincere.

    I don't know, does nobody learn anything about schizophrenia and borderline disorder anymore? Those two would cover all of the posts, and they're well treatable. Only a minority of patients needs long-term institutionalization (is that a word?).

    ReplyDelete
  3. MFT. Those kinds of people usually become good, true Christians.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My wife has told me on occasion that, "you have a lot of little boy left in you."

    I told her once that she was probably referring tom that little demon that sits on my shoulder sometimes and says, "Frog, tear down those paradigms and raise fucking hell. And once you get it raised up there, put props underneath it."

    She said, "That would be you."

    I took that as a compliment, but you can never be sure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Froggie, is your little demon called Tom? ("tom that little demon")

    I've said it before. These guys prey on the mentally ill while praying on the mentally ill.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Never heard of this show.

    It'd be interesting to see, though. I can't imagine that a REAL exorcism as the Canon describes them would be all that entertaining.

    "In the name of Jesus, leave this person."
    "No."
    "In the name of Jesus, I command you to tell me your name."
    "[Insert name]"
    "[name], I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to leave this person."

    *silence*

    "Sweet. Let's go to DQ."


    And that's for the REALLY stubborn ones.

    Christianity in general has an understanding of schizophrenia, even if a vague one in some cases. Have any of the people on his show seen a psychologist?

    My gut instinct, without having heard or seen anything of this guy, is that it's a sham. Poor kids.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You know, I would love to go on his show simply to have my demons removed.

    -"Leave this man!"
    -"No!"
    -"Begone from his mind!"
    -"But I like in here! It's roomy!"
    -"In the name of Jesus Chist, Begone!"
    -"Don't take the Lords name in vain! It offends me, you jerk-off!"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Speaking of humor to bother the religious, I saw this on a thread at Library Thing; ask a Jehovah's Witness " if only 144,000 will be saved, aren't you worried that if you convert me I'll take your place?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. @ Quasar:

    Silly Quasar, exorcisms are for demoniacs!

    ReplyDelete

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