WEM,
I said, "I have been through hell and high water since then. I am going to try to compose a Post on this, but suffice to say, It can be a gut wrenching journey."
You said, "dont rush it, seriously.Whenever it's posted, I'm interested in reading..."
I became a "Provisional Deist" somewhere between the age of seven and nine years old. Looking back, I can see that it happened through a series of progressions and insights that I had while reading through the bible. I was then, and remain somewhat, a proliferate reader.
I was a born skeptic and my Mother is pissed about this to this very day. I didn't believe in Santa Claus from the first moment that I remember cogitating on the idea; yet later I helped her perpetuate the myth to my younger sisters. Mom made me "swear" that I would not ruin the fun for them. Those two sisters, who I still love and communicate with regularly, were my first "clinical study" subjects.
I even would do things like look out the window and say that "I think I see Santa's sleigh," and they would run over and declare that they thought they saw it too!
It gets worse from there. I became an agnostic. My Dad was totally understanding on that and even threw some Bertrand Russell quotes my way (BR was a contemporary of my Father,) but my Mom was problomatic in that regard. Don't worry though because I found a way to edify her beliefs with my own and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
This feeble attempt to describe my journey is a perfect example of "everything I write is not enough." I will attempt to flesh out my experience.
I described myself as a "provisional deist for 23 years. On 9/12/01 I became an atheist."
Wars are fought over dogma, and this attack was no different. I just made up my mind that day that Religion is an "Engine of Grief."
An Engine of Grief
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The "hell and highwater" part describes my journey from apathetic observer to militant opposer of irrational belief systems and unpaid iconoclsat.
ReplyDeletemore about that later!
A story about me and religion!
ReplyDeleteI too was a born sceptic, and first read the Bible when I was seven. I read about God killing people, punishing people, making his son die. To my young mind he sounded like a bad father. I saw the same types of behaviours exhibited in my Dad, and decided that if God was real he was mean and scary.
Of course I was scared of Hell and demons, at the age of nine I was convinced that gangs of maurauding devils could rape me if I didn't have God on my side. So I tried to follow the rules given to me at home and at church.
I was probably about twelve when I realized it was all a load of bunk, my mind was capable by then of discerning the "human hand" clearly at play in the Bible and organized religion. I played the part of dutiful daughter for four more years because I didn't want to be punished by my Dad.
At sixteen, I walked out of a church service in which the vicar said that everyone in the World Trade Center had been given the chance to convert two weeks before. Apparently a Christian group had been distributing tracts outside.
I told my family that I wanted nothing to do with religion. Five months later, I was asked to leave the home.
Lovely.
CWC,
ReplyDeleteWow, that is a most compelling testimony. I am empathising to the max.
"Five months later, I was asked to leave the home."
I didn't run into that wall, but close!
It says a lot about you that you stuck to your guns instead of caving in to their irational value system.
"Only where there is doubt can there be freedom."
CC,
ReplyDeleteI told my family that I wanted nothing to do with religion. Five months later, I was asked to leave the home.
That's terrible. I'm very sorry. :(
It really sucks, being a skeptic.
ReplyDeleteTrust me.
I wish I could be like the rest of them
I do, but yet I am happy that I'm Not.
A short poem by the Frog circa 2008.
Sorry it didn't rhyme.
Froggie & CC,
ReplyDeleteGreat introspective posts from both of you. I'm always mightily impressed by people who pave their own way, especially in the face of the controversy which you both dealt with. Makes me realize how easy I had/have it.
Frodo be with you both.
If it wasn't for Frodo's victory against Sauron, would any of us even be here to tell our tales?
ReplyDeleteI think not.
Wem,
ReplyDeleteOn 9/12/01 I became an atheist.
You chastised me many time for calling you an atheist instead of a deist. What gives!
You're a fraud, liar.
CC,
ReplyDeleteFive months later, I was asked to leave the home.
at sixteen or seventeen? That's really mean and unexcusable.
My mother once told my sister that she wasn't her daughter anymore because she had the wrong religion, but my sister was 22 at that time and my mother just had a psychotic episode and didn't remember any of it afterwards (or didn't want to remember, my family is really good at ignoring things).
Religion makes people crazy, and crazy people crazier.
Dan of many crosses,
ReplyDeleteIt was Froggie that wrote that, not Wem. Careful with the insults!
------------------
CC,
You do Frodo a great honour in giving Him such credit. To recognise your compliments, He is having me adopt the spelling favoured by your lands.
He'd also like to have you over for dinner, but His place is a mess and He is afraid you'd hit your head on the door frame.
Glory be to Frodo!
Frodo,
ReplyDeleteWith egg on my face, I thought this was Wem's story. Thank you so much I got confused by the title and I was wrong.
With my deepest apologies Wem, I am sorry for saying that.
The inarguable wisdom of Frodo strikes me again.
Dan -
ReplyDeleteHow dare you make a mistake.
You should be eaten by sharks. (which may actually be more forgiving than some people here)
CC:
ReplyDeleteI, too, am sorry about your childhood/early life.
I'm not sure if the proper term would be to express my condolences, sympathies or what, but I hope you understand what I mean.